#4

You know you're in Eastern Washington when all but three radio stations are Spanish-speaking or country music.

#3

You know you're in eastern Washington when traffic is being held up by a guy commuting in a backhoe. Downtown.

Rough Draft of a Silly Poem

Rarely can I bring
myself to kill
a spider
when alone.

He skitters so gingerly
across the floor
and nervously up the wall,
he just wants
to bring a snack
or something nice
to decorate the walls
of his warm little corner,

to cut
his journey short
seems a bit too
unkind.

But sometimes,
in the presence
of skittish young
ladies, I'll reach out
with my shoe and
put it down
if only to spare him the screaming.

#2

You know you're in eastern Washington when the person doing the weather says, "It's only going to be 93 tomorrow, but you should still be careful anyway."

Where I Live #1

You know you're in eastern Washington when you hear a commercial that advertises "bling," then clarifies that to mean "belt buckles."